Couples Therapy & Marriage Counselling Sydney

Is relationship counselling different to couple’s therapy?

Yes, they are different in one fundamental way. Relationship counselling refers to individual therapy sessions where you discuss issues in your relationship one-on-one with your therapist. In couples or marriage therapy, both you and your partner attend the counselling sessions together with the therapist. While both forms of therapy help you to manage problems within your relationship, the former is done individually whereas the latter is done together as a couple.

Given the significance of the role that our partners, husbands/wives, and family have in our lives, you will not always see eye to eye. It is completely normal for couples to disagree on opinion, values, and priorities. In fact, most couples do not agree on everything and will experience a range of relationship problems of varying degrees.

If your partner is not ready for counselling, you will benefit from individual relationship counselling. When your partner is ready to work on your issues, both of you can see a couple’s therapist together. At New Vision Psychology, our couple’s therapists and relationship counsellors are trained and experienced in the following areas:

• Infidelity
• Fertility issues
• Financial conflict
• Loss of intimacy
• Intimacy and sex life issues
• Conflict
• Coping with trauma and grief
• Parenting
• Issues with extended family members

We offer relationship and marriage counselling Sydney-wide, through our five locations in Chatswood, Hurstville, Burwood, Castle Hill and Sydney CBD. Our psychologists act as objective and compassionate mediators, to provide you and your partner with a safe and open setting to express your fears and concerns and overcome them together.

What are the common signs of an unhealthy marriage?

Relationship stresses are highly correlated with symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, self-esteem, and anger. In particular, toxic relationships can cause feelings of low self-worth, insecurity, anxiety, and paranoia.

Relationship issues do not look the same for everyone. While each couple experiences unique problems, here are a few common presentations:

• “I’m tired of all the fights.”
• “We don’t even have fights anymore.”
• “Our thoughts on money are completely different.”
• “We have different goals in life.”
• “We don’t have sex anymore.”
• ”My partner doesn’t listen to me.”
• ”My partner is controlling.”
• ”I think I am picking fights with my partner all the time for no real reason.”
• ”Why won’t my partner understand how I feel?”
• ”When I think of my partner, all I see is red.”
• ”I feel distant from him/her.”
• ”We live separate lives.”
• ”We have become more like friends instead of lovers.”
• ”I hate my partner’s parents.”

I don’t think my partner will want to attend couples counselling…

If you’re after relationship or marriage counselling Sydney psychologists are here to help.

We understand that convincing your partner/spouse to attend couples counselling can be difficult. From our experience, couples therapy is most effective when both parties are willing to participate.

In some cases, your partner may have absolutely no interest in attending a joint session. This does not mean that you cannot access the help that you need. Give New Vision Psychology a call on 1300 001 778 to discuss whether relationship counselling in Sydney can assist you.

Will marriage counselling Sydney sessions work?

Generally speaking, couples who seek out marriage counselling have a desire to overcome their differences and work together towards a happier and stronger relationship.

We have attached a case study to give you an indication of what you can expect from couples counselling.

Sophie and Peter* have been attending marriage counselling at New Vision Psychology.

In their first session, the psychologist asked them to take turns to articulate how they felt in their relationship.

Peter began, and said that he felt that everything in the relationship was fine.

He thinks Sophie is a good wife and mother, and that he still definitely loves her.

Peter said that they argue sometimes, but he thinks this is normal.

He said that it is Sophie who seems to think there are problems in the relationship, and this can frustrate him at times.

He feels that he is already doing a lot (like working, looking after the children, and doing housework), and so does not know why Sophie is still unhappy with him.

Sophie stated that Peter’s response, where he does not know why she is unhappy, is part of the reason that they are in counselling.

Sophie feels that she has been very clear about why she is upset, and Peter still doesn’t get it.

She says that he ignores her in the evenings and always seems to be preoccupied with something else.

She also feels that he does not really want to speak to her anymore.

Generally, Sophie feels that she is not prioritised in the relationship and that she and Peter act like friends.

With an understanding of how each person feels about the relationship, the right marriage counsellor now works to identify shared goals that the couple can aim towards. It is clear that Sophie’s goal in the relationship is to feel like Peter is prioritising her, which is demonstrated by spending quality time together. On reflection, Peter, too says that he wants to have more quality time.

Sophie and Peter agree that after work they need to set aside time to speak to each other, and not just finish chores or watch TV. Whether it’s making sure that they sit at the dinner table to eat together or having a chat after the kids go to bed, they agree that this is something they need to implement. The couple now have concrete plans to ensure that they stay connected and prioritise each other.

Future sessions will look at other ways to stay connected, such as improving communication, ways to avoid misunderstandings, and how to navigate conflict in a useful way.

* names have been changed to protect client privacy

How do relationship therapy and couples counselling work?

Relationship therapy is suitable for anyone looking to improve the relationships in their life – including romantic relationships, workplace relationships, friendships, and family relationships. Relationship therapy involves one-on-one sessions with a counsellor, where you work through your interpersonal relationships and any challenges that you’re facing. Your relationship psychologist will help you to identify potential roadblocks, and provide insight to help you to improve communication patterns and learn how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships with others.

Couples therapy on the other hand is extremely beneficial for couples looking to overcome specific obstacles in their relationship, or simply looking to maintain a healthy relationship together. In couples counselling, a therapist will work with you and your partner together – providing a safe and judgement free environment to explore and express your feelings to one another. In couples or marriage counselling both parties are encouraged to be open, honest, and vulnerable – as this is the best way to fully understand each other’s perspectives and build a stronger relationship. 

As a neutral and unbiased facilitator, the right therapist helps you better understand your relationship, uncovering its strengths and detrimental patterns. Together, you will identify what’s causing conflict or tension in the relationship. Common issues include intimacy, self-esteem, communication, trust, different values, and unmet expectations. In your first session, the therapist will identify the focus of your therapy sessions, establish treatment goals and create a treatment plan.

Couples therapy helps you improve your communication styles, overcome challenges and get your relationship back on track. You will both gain a better understanding of your relational dynamics and learn skills and strategies to effectively overcome issues.

If you’re looking for the right relationship counsellor or couple’s therapist in Sydney, it’s important to ensure that they have the appropriate qualifications and relevant expertise. Check out our registered and clinical psychologists – they come from a variety professional backgrounds and deal with a comprehensive range of issues.

Is couples counselling available during COVID-19?

Yes! New Vision Psychology is committed to providing continued support to all our clients during COVID-19. This includes providing couples counselling throughout this time.

We remain open and our relationship therapists are ready to assist via:

• Face-to-face in-person counselling services in all of our offices
• Online counselling via secure Zoom Video counselling
• Telephone counselling

Is marriage counselling covered by Medicare?

Couples and marriage counselling costs are not covered by Medicare.

Medicare rebates offered to those with Mental Health Care Plans are for the treatment of individuals with mental health issues. Couples counselling and marriage counselling cost does not fall under this category.

Even if both individuals have a Mental Health Care Plan, a practitioner facilitating a session with two clients will not qualify for a Medicare rebate. 

However, many private health insurers cover couples counselling. If you have private health insurance, check your policy to see if it covers couples counselling.

If you’re attending individual relationship therapy, and you have a Mental Health Care Plan, these sessions would be eligible for Medicare rebate.

How many sessions will we need?

This varies according to your specific issues, motivation levels and goals.  

We conduct couples therapy and relationship counselling Sydney-wide and have helped many couples overcome their problems. Many couples start seeing changes from the first 2-3 sessions. Some couples with deeper issues have around 6-12 sessions.

You may start with weekly sessions, then progress to fortnightly or monthly sessions. Some couples like to maintain a few sessions a year – even when things are going well – because it can be a great way to check in, stay on top of everything, and maintain a healthy relationship.

The total number of sessions that you need will depend on your relationship and your preferences. During your initial session, your therapist will provide a treatment plan and give you an idea on the number of sessions you’ll require.

Is it too late for marriage counselling?

The sooner you enter marriage counselling, the better your odds of resolving your issues. Many relationships can be saved through couples counselling as it helps to effectively communicate and create healthier and more sustainable relationships.

If you’re beginning to give up, or are withdrawing from each other, you may think that it’s too late for counselling. However, couples counselling can be helpful for any stage of the relationship, including separation. 

If your relationship or marriage has collapsed, couples counselling could still be valuable. It can help you work out if there’s any hope of salvaging or rebuilding the relationship. If the marriage cannot be saved, it can help both of you accept this reality, and negotiate terms of separation.

The longer you wait, the harder the problem becomes. Even if you feel like it’s too late, marriage counselling will help to provide clarity and closure.

Each of you may also benefit from individual counselling to come to terms with the end of the marriage and deal with this significant life transition so you can move forward in life.

How do I stop fighting with my partner?

There is no silver bullet or quick fix when it comes to fighting with a partner. While it is completely normal to have disagreements and arguments in a relationship, if you find yourself getting into frequent arguments with your partner – you may benefit from relationship or couples counselling.

Some helpful tips:

• Step away from the fight – This will help you gain perspective and develop a more objective mindset, rather than escalating the situation
• Don’t let problems fester – Resolve conflict as soon as you can, rather than develop resentment towards each other
• Stop being defensive or attacking each other – Tune into the present moment, listen to each other, acknowledge your feelings, and try to see things from your partner’s perspective

In couples therapy, your therapist will support you to identify causes and triggers of tension with professional help, understand your reactions and behaviour, and teach you strategies to effectively deal with conflict.

Can I attend couples therapy on my own?

If you’re attending couples therapy with your partner, you may sometimes wish to see the therapist on your own. Perhaps you don’t feel comfortable expressing certain things in front of your partner, and are able to be more honest in a one-on-one session. Sometimes, the therapist may also request to see each of you individually, to obtain certain information or overcome trust issues, but this varies on a case-by-case basis. Seeing the couple’s therapist on your own is not uncommon, and most couple therapists have structures in place to protect both parties. For the couple’s therapist, their client is the couple, and their focus is the relationship. Therefore, the couple’s therapist will not become your individual therapist as this will affect their ability to remain neutral and unbiased. You may however pursue individual therapy with a different therapist.